roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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