Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
