walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
