I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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