I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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