I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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