Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
