You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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