We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed š
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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