I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
