I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
