either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
