So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
