Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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