Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
