dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize