Umm I'm too high to move.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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