and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
