check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
