you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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