is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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