You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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