Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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