I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When did angry sex become our thing?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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