i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize