what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
