so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
