You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your penis caused this!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
