you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
