That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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