Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
