we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
