For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
