So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
