Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
