your thong is hanging out like whoa
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
