yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
