It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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