Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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