this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
