# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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