I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
