haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had sex on a dog bed..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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