Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
