Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
