I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Panties = found
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
