fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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