One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
