she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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