Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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