I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
