I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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