i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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