Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
