You made me cry and you don't even care
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
