even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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