OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
