C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
