Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
