Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
