Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize