weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had to cum in my sink.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
