Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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