whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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